Stepping Stone

“Somebody left me feeling empty, Somebody ripped me at the seams”

Somebody stole my heart, then crushed it with my dreams… & that somebody was you.

I used to write about everything I was grateful for, I used to write about being grateful for you & all the things you would do…

I thought things were good, I thought we were good. I used to dig deep to find all of that “good” so I could ignore all of the bad. But there was always so much bad.

I held onto the small things for so long, I had never been treated in such a loving way, it was hard not to stay focused on that.

But after all of these years, I can’t help but realize, there was so so much bad. So much bad and I always just ignored it. I can’t ignore it anymore. I have to acknowledge all of the horrible things you put me through and not focus on the trips, gifts, and kisses.

Life was beautiful for a short amount of time, I will always be grateful for that.

Although it’s still hard to see the silver lining, I know our relationship needed to happen. Everything I read points to you.

Everything tells me that you were my first love. That you were the fun wildly attractive one that was going to make me fall in love, but wasn’t emotionally mature enough to be with me for real.

I now understand, you needed to be in my path. I needed to meet you so I could learn to cherish myself. I needed to go through that heartbreak, to learn to love myself. I needed to love you so I could learn what love was.

I like to think that I was in a good place when I met you, which I was, but I wasn’t using my brain to it’s fullest potential. I was stuck worrying about the material fickle things of this world.

Since losing you and finding myself, I’ve gained a bigger perspective. I see life in a different light. I no longer wish to die. I no longer want to run and hide.

Dating you was hard, it was beautiful yet painful. But it needed to happen.

I now know, you aren’t my destiny. You aren’t my future. You were a stepping stone on the path of life and love. You were a stepping stone that led me to the bridge I needed to cross so I could find who I’m actually meant to be.

Everything tells me my twin flame is still out there. Everything tells me not to give up. I really hope that’s true, but if it’s not, I’m ok with that too.

I’m just glad I can finally stop thinking that my twin flame was you…

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