Black Hole

A black hole. That’s what I used to call my depression. Every time I felt it creeping back up I would say that I was falling back into my black hole. “A black hole is a region of space time where gravity is so strong that nothing - no particles or even electromagnetic radiation such... Continue Reading →

.Never Enough.

Why do I always feel like a second choice? Why don’t I ever feel like anyone thinks I’m worth it? Could it be that I’m actually not? Not worth it I mean? Not worth a damn to a man. If I’m not worth a damn then why do I crave being held by a man?... Continue Reading →

Silent Cries

*TW= ATTEMPT God help me. God help me. God help me. I truly meant it, I was pleading. I was praying. I was begging. Nobody could hear me though. I needed some sort of light in my life. Things were getting so dark. I knew I needed help. I was trying to get help. I... Continue Reading →

TMS Saved Me

Recently, I’ve talked a lot about how bad my last relationship was. I’ve mentioned a lot of the horrible things I had to sit through because I chose to stay. I chose to beg and ask this person to stay with me because I loved him & I believed he loved me so I thought... Continue Reading →

Bruises & Black Eyes?

I bet when you read bruises and black eyes, you thought it was me with them. It wasn’t though. I’m not going to sit here and act like I was innocent or always the victim either. Well, maybe I was a victim, and that caused me to act out. Either way, I can’t not take... Continue Reading →

Lesson Learned

Straight from my private blog. I knew it from the very beginning. We both knew. So why did we stay in it? It makes absolutely no sense. I constantly blamed myself and my fucked up brain. I always blamed my depression for everything. I didn’t realize, you were pushing me into the depression. Every time... Continue Reading →

Like a Dream

I wrote about you. I wrote about you again last night. I hadn’t been inspired in awhile. Then I watched that video & I cried so much. I cried so much so I wrote. It was like I was writing to you, but honestly, I don’t even care if you read it. You were there.... Continue Reading →

March 27, 2013

Straight from my private Tumblr. Day 1. Day 1. That was really, Day 1. The day I took psych meds for the first time. The day I finally decided to give in. It’s so weird looking back. Just reading that gives me flashbacks & I am literally in that moment. I didn’t want to give... Continue Reading →

November 2020

All it takes for me to get attached to someone is for them to share a deeper connection with me, then I instantly get hooked. A few deep, mind stimulating conversations, and I'll find myself obsessing over this person for days on end. Fantasizing about a life together, a future. I actually thought for a... Continue Reading →

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